Fox News and World Domination

Fox News Channel has been popping up a lot lately. First, we found out that Vice President Cheney requests that the 24-hour cable news network be waiting for him when he arrives at a hotel room. In addition to the TV, the lights must be turned on also--thank goodness our nation currently has no need for energy conservation. More recently, President Bush tapped FNC's own conservative broadcaster Tony Snow to replace perennially embattled Scott McClellan as White House Press Secretary. Two inevitable consequences of this move: (1) a blizzard of all-too-easy "Snow job" puns whenever Tony stonewalls or spins a little too creatively, and (2) a Presidential Medal of Freedom for McClellan. And if that's not enough evidence of Fox dominance, from where does "24"'s weasly President Charles Logan get his information: Fox News, of course. Although after Logan's recent aiding of terrorists, Brit Hume may want to rethink that particular product placement.

Then yesterday we find out that a mini-rebellion broke out on Air Force One. The issue: On which channel should the White House and Air Force One televisions be set? Apparently, they are always set to Fox News, and reporters' requests to have the channel changed to CNN have been denied by White House staff. The Washington Post's Jim VandeHei grilled Scott McClellan (you think they would cut the poor guy a break!) aboard the President's plane yesterday. An "amused" McClellan immediately checked into the situation and, after learning that there were no available parachutes on the aircraft, returned to the press corps and informed them that the channels would be dialed to CNN. At least until Cheney finds out.

So good luck with that new job, Tony. But don't worry, Fox News will still be there when you're done.